What would you do to end sexual violence at the University of Alabama?
Using your articles for this week, write 1-2 paragraphs demonstrating your understanding of the social systems and social conditions that support male sexual violence against women and other men on college campuses.
Then in 1-2 paragraphs, build upon the “Feminist Frat Boys” article and reflect upon some possible forms of action/activism that you and your peers (as well as the larger University system) can take to end sexual violence on the UA campus.
University of Alabama Women's Resource Center
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
Understanding Sexual Assault & What to do if it Happens to You
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
Understanding Sexual Assault & What to do if it Happens to You
From the readings this past week, it became more clear to me that by men raping or sexually assaulting a woman, they feel in control. I have always thought that, but my opinion was confirmed. Men feel that they need to be in control of everything. Yes, that is okay with their own bodies, but not with the bodies of other women and men. The readings not only talked about sexual assault, but also what men do to each other. They feel the need to show their masculinity over other men. I have seen this in high school and college. If guys threaten each other's manliness you can bet there is going to be a fight or some sort of competition.
ReplyDeleteI agree that men should be strong and should support women in a positive manner. Men shouldn't expect anything out of a woman that they wouldn't do themselves, which is where the problem lies. Men are taught from a young age what the woman is supposed to do in the home. Some are taught things that are absurd, such as doing everything the man says. I truly believe that the environment you are brought up in will reflect who you are in the long run. If men are brought up in an abusive home, there is a chance they will be the same way in their relationship. This has to be stopped, and people have to come to the realization that this is inhumane.
I think one of the first things that needs to be done to raise awareness on campus is to make women more aware of the statistics. Personally, I am taking a Women's Self Defense class this semester that way I can protect myself against this happening to me. Not only are we taught how to defend ourselves physically, but to also deal with verbal abuse, stalking, and other things that aren't physical. I think every girl should take one of these courses and realize that this can happen to anyone, even though you hope that it does not.
I am involved in a sorority on campus and we are always told to watch where we walk and things like that. However, I don't think most girls take it seriously. I feel that I could impact my sorority by giving statistics and tell them that they make themselves an easier target when they are going to fraternity houses and bars and consuming way too much alcohol. It was not surprising when fraternity boys were saying that alcohol makes it easier and they blame the victim. I know not all fraternity boys are the same. Girls need to realize that not every boy is out to sexually assault them, but there are some that are. I think if member of sororities would inform each other of what can happen, and even what fraternity boys are thinking, things might change. I also think these women need to be encouraged to tell if they are sexually assaulted or there is an attempt of sexual assault, and then the fraternity dealt with so this can end. If there are problems with a specific fraternity having a lot of complaints filed against them for sexual assault, then a University official needs to investigate and take proper action.
As talked about in class and in the reading articles for this week, the concept of sexual assault is socially constructed through our society. As Kaufman discusses in his Seven P's, there are many things that contribute to men thinking it is okay and acceptable for them to act out any form of sexual assault on another person. Men are taught at a young age to internalize their emotions, and the only one acceptable to show is anger because it is associated with being a man. Because of men's suppression of these other emotions and only letting anger out,all the power behind the other hidden emotions come out through anger-often resulting in violence. We, as a society, do not help this issue of violence being shown through anger because we encourage men to fight. We pay to watch UFC fights on TV, support our soldiers in war, and expect men to stand up and take violent action if necessary when defending someone or something. Also, Kaufman says that if a man grew up seeing violence displayed with women and girls or experiencing violence himself by another male, he may feel it is acceptable.
ReplyDeleteBecause of these contributing factors playing into why men are violent, the issue is not easily curable and preventable. Our social structure is desensitized from violence through our experiences, TV, movies, video games,...etc. Therefore, it is very difficult to try to talk about the horrible aspects of violence. Media often supports male domination, so men once again feel it is okay and they have the right to be violent.
I was impressed by how they got frat boys to become involved in being educated and helping prevent sexual assault in the reading by Wantland about Feminist Frat Boys. I like how they made the class strictly males. I feel that guys would not dare open up to serious issues and feelings concerning these issues if girls were present-I'm even amazed they opened up around other guys! The best way to help prevent rape and sexual assault by frat guys on college campuses is not as much to educate women on campus about the issue, but the males. This class that was made got inside the homes of frat guys and got personal.
I think that fraternities need to take action within the houses themselves if rape and sexual assault is going to be put to an end. Frat guys need to know there are severe consequences that outweighs the want to commit such an act in case any of them are ever tempted-which obviously some are going to be. Students outside the frat houses can do campaigns raising awareness and provide education about the subject. Places like the Women's Resource Center needs to be made publicly clear that they are there to help and assist in any way possible. If women felt comfortable coming and talking to someone there who can help, the officials could hopefully catch more of the perpetrators and assist women in getting away from violent men before sexual assault can happen. Ending sexual assault on campus would take the unity of the student body, standing up willingly wanting to do whatever it takes to destroy this problem.
I have always been aware of sexual assault against women and I have always been taught some of the reasons why men do such a thing but after reading these articles it has come more aware to me that the men who are part of such act are men who either want control over something because in the past they have felt like they have had no control over anything before and also some men do such acts because they have been sexually assaulted before or they have grown up in a bad environment.
ReplyDeleteBeing in college for 3 years not I have not experienced sexual assault and I do not know some one who has. Although it has never happened to me I do believe that people on this campus experience it. I think there are many things we can do to help with this issue but we just first need to not be so oblivious to it.
The article about the Frat boys I did not agree on a lot of what it had to say. Me being part of the greek family I have a lot of friends that are part of fraternities and the boys that I have become close with are all part of the greek system and to be I feel the safest around them because they take care of me when I need to be taken care of. I am not saying that there are not frat boys out there that take advantage of girls, if that is the case I believe that the other boys in the frat should take action to stop these acts of violence.
Ending these acts of violence would take a lot more than a couple of kids gathering together to try and stop this awful thing, it would have to take the whole student body to agree that is they were part of these acts or if they were not to come out and do the best the can to get help.
Prior to reading this week’s articles, I thought that the primary reason for a man to rape a woman was to prove his power and sense of control. After the articles, I am affirmed of this, but I am able to further understand the reason for the patriarchal mindset. The article by Michael Kaufman gave an in depth analysis of why men act violent towards women and even other men. It is all about showing who is the most masculine and tough. If another male threatens a man’s dominance, he may act out against that man or even against another woman for the sake of proving his power and ability to control.
ReplyDeleteI believe that men begin feeling their sense of power and entitlement at a very young age. There is the positive aspect of it that says that men should protect women or drive the car when going out, etc. Somewhere along the lines, however, this sweet, protector-like mindset gets overshadowed by an urge to PROVE power and PROVE control. Men, then, result to fighting or raping to show everyone who is boss. Television shows and movies encourage violent behavior and often depict it in a humorous way, so the state of mind that violent men are in is embedded very deeply on a social level that begins at such an early age that it is not easily reversed.
I really enjoyed the “Feminist Frat Boys” article and the methods used to help reduce rape on college campuses. I definitely believe that many college-aged men are not as tough and heartless as they come off. All of these men have mothers and grandmothers, and some may have sisters or girlfriends. Rape is a serious issue on college campuses, and these men should, and probably do, feel the threat against the women in their lives that they love. The all-male setting of the meetings, particularly within a fraternity’s chapter, is a great way to get the men to open up and recognize the dangers of their behavior and what it can lead to.
If these actions were partaken in at the University of Alabama, I believe that large changes could be made. In most cases, fraternity boys put up the front of how they think they are supposed to act to be considered “cool” by their brothers, but in all reality, they are probably a lot more understanding and genuine than they appear. Also, I think that the Women’s Resource Center should publicize their facilities more, and they should make it well known that they offer assistance to men as well as women.
@Emily Blackwood
ReplyDeleteI think you're right in saying that it is right for a man to take care of a woman, but there definitely comes a point where that sense of power gets taken out of hand. It is this idea that a man should provide for a woman that gives them the sense of control and power in the relationship, and that can sometimes lead to abuse.
It is very apparent that men tend to think that they have to be dominant and possess certain masculine traites. Some men prey on vulnerable women and take advantage of them by rape or abuse. Children are also vicims of a man's desires to be dominant and in control. Society has molded men into the overpowering individuals that we encounter today. Although it cannot be blamed on society, I feel as though women play an indirect role in this also. Most women want a man that is strong, that is able to support her financially, protect her from harm and also be the head of the household. With men knowing all that is expected of them, they feel they have to be masculine and in control in order to be considered a man. If a man is anything less of this, a woman would probably not want him and he would not be labeled as a real man. Another problem is that men do not like to be rejected. Some men can accept it, but the ones that can't, turn to violence. Women suffer from the insecurities a man has within himslef. Other males even find themselves being a victim of sexual abuse of a another man. They most often target gay men or men that are not as confident and strong as the attacker may be. Yet again, preying on people that are more vulnerable. There are so many places a woman and child can go to get help, but there are not many places a man can go to get counseling for the problems he are going through. If there were more resources that could help men solve their inner emotional/mental problems then maybe they would not be so violent and controlling.
ReplyDeleteI think that all females and males on college campuses should be informed about the dangers that can happen within fraternity houses and activities. Alcohol comsumption is a key factor in this issue. Women should have the common knowlegde to know not to get overly intoxiacated in any envirionment that could potentially get out of control and women should be more responsible of their own actions. When fraternities and soritites have parties on campus there should be a security guard on the scene just in case things get out of hand. I dont know if the UA police patrol throughout the night and early mornings but that would also be helpful. The campus should also offer resources to men that may need help as well. A man would probably feel uncomfortable going to the women's resource center to talk about his issues.
@S. Terrell
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about men feeling pressure to live up to a certain standard of masculinity. Women always seem to fall for the "tough guy," so it forces men to act certain way. Men often get in fights with other men in front of women as a way of proving their masculinity, so I think that men may act out in violence towards women as another way of proving his power and masculinity.
This week's readings improved my knowledge of sexual assualts against women. Morgan Emilie's article, "Don't Call Me a Survivor," show how rape victims have a really hard time telling someone about what happened to them. People shouldn't treat victims of rape differently. They treat those same victims as something not human. It's horrible that a lot of college women are raped by men that they know. Some of those men are from fraternities.
ReplyDeleteThose fraternities support the idea of patriartchy. Some of those frat members & other college male students think they can control women. They also think it's ok to have sex with a girl who had too much too drink. Wantland talks about how he taught several frat boys about things like that in his article, "Feminist Frat Boys." It's a really good idea to teach college male students more about things like rapes of college women & other issues. So things like sexual assualts on college campuses can be decreased or discouraged.
I loved the readings this week, particularly the Seven P's of Men's Violence and Feminist Frat Boys. Everyone has discussed the entitlement that men can feel about what women should be doing for them, but I think it's also important to note, as @S. Terell pointed out, that society presents men with these images of dominance and power that permeate their thoughts for the rest of their lives. Personal responsibility should be taken in to account to an extent, but when we teach our children that displays of dominance are the only way to fit in to a masculine label, or that masculinity = power over all others, it should come as no surprise their reaction to perpetuate a rape culture.
ReplyDeleteCollege is the first time many people get some freedoms (from parents, from their past, etc). With this freedom comes the sense that they must "experiment", as portrayed in countless films, songs, and TV shows about college life. All of these portrayals are rife with sexist language and situations. As stated earlier, it is the examples offered by society that continue the growth of violence, particularly that towards women and non-heterosexuals. I fully support the idea of trying new things and meeting new people, but when college life is reduced to posturing of gender roles it becomes problematic.
I would love it if every member of the Greek system was given a copy of "Feminist Frat Boys" and encouraged to read and discuss it with their brothers & sister. On a larger scale, I fully believe that this is an issue that affects all students. Not one group should be targeted for education on this; more events like Take Back The Night could reach out to the campus as a whole, and make sure no one is excluded.
Something I am very passionate about is making people feel safe about discussing sensitive issues, particularly ones like rape, sexual assault, and their mental health. These topics can be touchy, to say the least. One major thing that would help this is to stop making jokes about it. When people say things like "I raped that test" or "We totally raped them in that game", it reduces the seriousness of the issue and misuses a word that can trigger nightmarish thoughts to victims. To make it a little more clear, think about what the literal meaning would sound like out loud- "We committed the crime of forcing them to have sex with us." Not such a funny comment now, right? Though this seems trivial, I fully believe that taking small steps such as this contributes in a big way to the overall reduction of the rape culture.
Sexual violence in our university is something that unfortunately is a problem we deal with everyday. Through our life we are told about sexual violence and how it can be prevented but at the same time it is hard to stop these men from raping these unfortunate women. Rape destroys its victims and leaves them in a disturbed state that cannot be fixed. These poor girls are victimized for no reason and they are taken advantage of and treated as meat. These readings taught me about how these crimes are never forgotten in the minds of these women. The question is how can I prevent sexual violence at the University of Alabama? That is a very tough question to answer, I do not think I could prevent sexual violence but I know I could help raise awareness about it and maybe make a difference. Men do these things because it is a sense of entitlement and the men feel they are above and women and they can do whatever the hell they want. These women are destroyed because a man just wants to sexually satisfy their own desires and not take the girl into consideration. The big issue this week about sexual violence on college campuses take place at frat houses. I am in a fraternity and I know my frat does not condone sexual violence and we take that very serious.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that a fraternity house is the most dangerous place for college girls. That is not the issue at hand right now. The question is what can I do to prevent sexual violence at my university. I am currently engaged in an organization through my fraternity called These Hands Don’t Hurt. It focuses on raising money on for women who have sexually assaulted by a partner. We cannot stop every rape that happens on campus but raising awareness is the most a person can do. Hopefully things like that can help girls be more aware of their surroundings when they go to parties and be safer and not get really drunk and not pay attention. I feel terrible for all the women that have been raped and wish that somehow I could reverse the outcome but women know that this a dangerous world and you can trust no one. It is up to all of us to help raise awareness and make a difference.
This weeks readings were hard for me to handle because they were painful to read. I always have been aware of men sexually assaulting women, however this weeks readings opened my eyes to why men do these things beside my personal opinions of why they choose to assault women. It has become more aware to me that the men who take part in sexual assault are men who strive for having control over something because they might not have had that control throughout their life or men who grew up in a harmful environment or who were also sexually assaulted which caused them pain so they choose to create pain toward women so they can feel better about themselves.
ReplyDeleteI personally have never had experience with sexual assault but I have had a few friends who have had to deal with the cruelty of assault. I know that sexual assault is something that happens more than it should and it does happen here on campus, which I personally find frightening. I believe there are several ways to prevent assault and it is not something that should be overlooked.
After reading the article about Fraternity boys it was hard for myself to agree on a lot of what it had to say about this issue. I am apart of Greek life here on campus and most all my friends are in fraternities. I have never had a problem with any fraternity men. However, I do think that there are fraternity men who do sexually assault women but it is not just some of the fraternity men on campus it could be any man on campus whether affiliated with Greek life or not. I think that if a fraternity man was assaulting women then his fraternity brothers should take care of it and report the assaulter to police. Stopping sexual assault is something that needs to happen. It will not take just a few people to do it; it will take thousands to stop such a disgusting act. I also think every single woman no matter how old she is should know self-defense and what to do if she was caught in a situation of assault. Sexual assault must be stopped in order for people to feel safe, especially on a college campus.
Male sexual violence is supported by the societal need for men to “prove” their adherence to traditional masculine values and assert their power over women and over other men who do not adhere to these values (such as men who are gay/perceived to be gay). However, this does not mean that they are conscious of all of their motives. For instance, one motive could be the sense of entitlement that male privilege has given them. Most people are not aware of their privilege, though, so they are unaware of the effects it has on them. Another reason men may feel that violence is acceptable is because male violence is not only accepted but celebrated in our society – in movies, in sports, etc. Patriarchy and its many effects create a climate for violence, but they also create a climate for victim-blaming, which reinforces the belief that a perpetrator’s violence will be tolerated.
ReplyDeleteSexual violence can be addressed in many ways. Education is great, but you cannot just educate the most-common perpetrators, and you most definitely cannot just educate those who are most likely to be victims; it needs to be a campus-wide education event that encompasses faculty and staff as well as students. It is also important to focus on aspects of sexual violence that are not often seen as such, such as sexual harassment. Many workplaces have sexual harassment training so that their employees will understand what is and is not acceptable, but why wait until we are members of the workforce? This type of training should be a mandatory part of orientation. College is a weird place that can be fun and great, but it is also a place where some risky behaviors can occur because of the amount of drinking, the number of new people, and the atmosphere of trust of your fellow students, even those you do not know. Thus, it is important for everyone to understand some basics about violence, so that victims will know what to do after an incident and will (hopefully) feel more comfortable reporting it because they will already know that this was an incidence of violence and was not their fault, and so that those who would perhaps be perpetrators will have no excuse for their actions later on. If every entering student learns that no is not the only form of non-consent, then everyone is on the same page. Though it may be difficult for students to be able to judge whether or not someone is too drunk to give consent, having training such as this would let them know that if they have to wonder if their partner can give consent, they probably cannot. It would also serve as a time to inform students about the resources that are available to them if they need assistance dealing with a sexual assault, an abusive relationship, etc.
Students are already given basic safety tips, but most students ignore them once campus and the surrounding area begin to feel like home. Don’t become too intoxicated, stay with friends, etc. are all seemingly trite words of advice that are often ignored. An act of violence is never the victim’s fault, though, and I believe a large part of why these are so often ignored is because no one wants to think about the fact that you can be completely sober and with a handful of close friends or with your significant other, whom you completely trust, and still experience violence. Though the risks of such behaviors should be acknowledged, education also needs to address the issues with blaming victims and empower potential victims to receive the help they need to recover and/or report their assault. If education covers both sides like this, then even if acts of violence occur, everyone involved will be better-equipped to deal with them, and it will also ensure that the incorrect notions of consent have been addressed, which will hopefully make potential perpetrators stop and think before going too far, like the student described in “Feminist Frat Boys” who did not have sex with a drunk girl because he was not sure if she could consent, though he admitted that before knowing about the issues, he would not have thought about it in that instant.
I guess a good way to help end sexual violence is to educate your friends a little more on the statistics and things you have heard. At this University a big part of sexual violence occurs in the Greek system. While these boys have a standard to uphold they also have challenges given to them, for example, how many girls can you hook up with? If you can’t help prevent it by education then women should take their own physical steps to prevent it. If a woman goes out try the buddy system, if a friend goes out and knows they want to drink and have a ride home take a friend that’s willing to stick by you all night that isn’t drinking. We all make stupid choices when we drink that we normally wouldn’t make. I think that we have learned from experiences, from the reading my Martin and Hummer, and the case of Natalie Holloway that you should never leave your friends alone, no matter how drunk.
ReplyDeleteIf you’re alone and afraid of being attacked take precautions to scare the culprit away, like pepper spray. I know women should feel comfortable to walk where ever they please, but if it looks suspicious… don’t do it. Walking around on this campus at night isn’t the most welcoming thing. While there are lights this campus is so large that a predator could come from anywhere. While there are steps this won’t completely end the violence, you can’t alter someone else’s mind. But what you can do if you are attacked is to report it, so many cases of sexual violence are personally dismissed or not reported at all. Seek help. You may think that you can handle it on your own, but it’s not your fault that this has happened to you. Even if its someone you know or someone you are in a relationship with, it’s not okay for anyone to dominate you sexually, and over power you when you are saying no or as if to be a punishment, it is a crime.
While reading this article by Wetland, he had mentioned how this one university had a mandatory workshop for students in their first semester. I know here at our university we had the online surveys that were, stupid if you ask me, about alcohol and drugs. I don’t really remember if it asked about sexual violence but I’m sure it touched on it a bit. THIS DOES NOT teach 17, 18, & 19 year old kids that drinking is bad and that you shouldn’t do it. Basically students just go through and randomly click things in the survey because it has to be completed and it feels as if this survey is a waste of their time. I think it would be very beneficial to have a workshop where attendance was actually a part of the curriculum. So that people can be reminded of morals, and personal morals. I know I did my fair share of drinking my first year, but I was never left alone. I always had someone there to look out for me.
Wetland also mentioned that the men blame the women for rape because of alcohol consumption and dress, but why in the world would you do something with a girl that you know they will not remember the next day, how is that okay? People lose sight of how impactful sex is and what its really supposed to be. While yes it is something to be enjoyed its also supposed to be “special” and is supposed to be shared it someone special. One night stands to me, while everyone may have had one at some point In their life, isn’t something you generally want to talk about and remember. I love that this reading was focused around the workshop that was just for men and at least one representative from a fraternity was present, most of the time it was someone who held a position. I don’t think that we have one here at this university but I think it would be a wonderful idea, I think that if there isn’t one, that we should try and get the university to make a workshop or class like this. While I think it is important for men and women to communicate and learn from one another I think that having all men would make the class more interesting. I love that as I was writing this and I was reading too it was mentioned in the reading that a guy was upset because he now had “ morals” while he was upset that he didn’t follow through with his original intentions, maybe he also realized what he had done to previous women and that made him angry too. I thought that this reading would make me mad but I actually learned from it and feel that there should be a paper about our University like this.
ReplyDeleteThe articles this past week were very interesting. In one article, “The 7 Ps of Men’s Violence” showed how much most men have this ideal of I need to prove my manhood. The ironic thing is that they really are trying to persuade themselves of their manhood because other people are not believing of it. The idea of entitlement plays a part in this mindset because some men think they are entitled to take their aggressions out on anyone at anytime. This mindset is also true because they think that they have the right to act out the twisted desires on someone else’s body even though it takes away the life, the dignity, and self love of that other person. I remember reading, I believe earlier this semester, about a college freshman girl who was raped by a well known upperclassman guy on campus. They went out on a date and he told her that if she was to go to meet his parents at this extravagant place, then she needed to do whatever he told her to. Unfortunately, he raped her that night and held it over her head to the point where when she went to the authorities and pressed charges, they ruled in his favor because of his family background. The girl ended up going to another school and when she got the courage to come back, her abuser was still at that school, but she had to find a way to continue with her studies. Although this happened to one girl, this story is all too much similar to college girls and girls in general across the nation. For systems to rule in favor of the assaulter just because of their family’s background is unmoral and against what our nation stands for (or is suppose to stand for).
ReplyDeleteIt is so important to have someone you can truly trust and talk openly with. Integral relationships are so important and I believe that having integral relationships help people who have been sexually assaulted not hold the pain in, but talk about it. Confidential group meetings and hotlines are a great way to help also as the Women Resource Center already has. I know that sometimes girls on campus don’t have cars, but that doesn’t stop the fact that sometimes they have to be at places at night (class, rehearsal, school events, etc.), but it is so important to have people to walk with you. 348 RIDE is good, but sometimes that can be a little intimidating if the driver is a man and you’re alone and need a ride across campus. I think that safe and trusted transportation is a big help. Also at parties, when ladies go they can have a couple of friends to go with them. However, if there’s no one else going with you, please don’t go by yourself, no matter how bad you would like to go. There is so much more that I can add, but for now this is all.
In my opinion, male sexual violence toward women relies heavily on social systems and conditions on college campuses. The fact of the matter is alcohol is a heavy factor in the college setting. Although (like our guest speaker from the Women’s Resource Center said) alcohol cannot be to “blame”, but it can lead to blame the culprit. Most fraternities on campus have alcohol involved in their daily life, and this causes social conditions to revolve around female violence.
ReplyDeleteThere are many ways that we as a student body can stop, or at least slow, sexual violence at UA. In my opinion, as well as in “Feminist Frat Boys” view, we need to set up a council consisting of fraternity men themselves. This council should speak to other Greek houses about rape, violence and alcohol. To me, this serves a lot like the Fraternity Peer Rape Education Program. We need to get Gentry McCreary from Greek Affairs involved, and have him head up the council.
In my opinion, if fraternity men themselves are teaching other fraternity men the word is heard much clearer. Although sexual assault/violence does not seem like a major problem at UA, the facts say that only 5% of college students who have been sexually harassed report it to the police. We must stop this problem before it spreads even more, and get to the root of the problem: the Greek system.
@Taylor
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that your fraternity is involved in such a great organization!
Society in a way tends to promote and support male violence. Whether it’s through sports, like wrestling, boxing, and hockey, or through everyday actions male violence is something they are taught is necessary and something to be proud of. Manhood has always been celebrated through violence. Typically when someone defines masculinity they will always make some reference to being “tough” or “strong” both in which are related to violence. Men are taught to use violence to achieve power, and power equals respect. So in order to build their way up the ladder of respect one certain way they can go about it is through violence. When thinking about the topic of violence I had to ask myself if violence among males is something that bothers me. When I see men fighting or a fight brewing, normally I will just walk away and brush it of as “men being men”. I never consider the aftermath of that rage and violence. Male to male violence doesn’t particularly bother me simply because I am not affected; or so I thought.
ReplyDeleteWhen men are violent towards each other, and then rewarded, that incentive then carries over to other areas in their lives. If they can achieve respect and power through fighting with another man, why would they not use this same tactic on women? Or where is the line drawn that maes fighting in some situations appropriate and others not appropriate? It’s a weird thought to think when exactly violence amount men and violence in general with men first began, because it’s all we as a society know. We forget that society teaches males from birth that that is the way to get by in life. We tend to not see women fight as much, I’m not sure of this is because we as a sex do not have as much testosterone, or because it is not sociably acceptable and certainly not celebrated.
The basis of a fraternity is to be the most manly, and to get the most women. On top of this fraternity pledges have to prove their masculinity and ability to get when at any cost. Of course this tnds to create problems. Being a student at a university with a large greek life I have heard horror stories from girls of rape attempts, assaults, and being drugged. You would think that with all of these events occurring so often that there would be something done to stop them. Fraternities have almost a free pass to do whatever they want. The police tend to loo the other way when it comes to what goes on inside of the houses, and the brothers of the fraternity have a bond that means no one ever talks, or tells. Girls who become the victims don’t want to be the girl who tells on the fraternity because this could lead to complete social rejection, so fraternities very easily can get away with doing pretty much anything they want to girls.
As individuals we can do our part to end this violence against women from members of fraternities. Most members of fraternities have a since of morale, but they let it be silenced by other members of the fraternity. Instead of acting on the crude actions you are encouraged to as a fraternity member guys can easily be the nice guy instead. This doesn’t mean to stand up in the middle of the fraternity and talk about women’s rights, because let’s be honest that will never happen, but guys should realize that by not acting so violent and crude towards women it tends to get you even more women, and respect than if you were just s much of an asshole as your fraternity brother. Women can do their part to end the violence too. It really is very simple; just to not put yourself of these situations. Although this is easier said than done, it is very easy to step away from a guy, or to not accept drinks, and not get completely hammered and do something stupid. As a female I know when to step away from a guy, and I have a good judge of character which has become very useful when trying to avoiding bad situations.
@Maggie McBride
ReplyDeleteYou make a really good point about the failure of AlcoholEDU to actually work. I think a class that we actually had to attend offered various Saturdays during the fall semester or something that addressed both the dangers of drinking and the issues of sexual violence would be beneficial. Though people could still choose not to listen while there, it's a lot more difficult to completely ignore someone talking than it is to completely ignore a video which you can easily mute. This would also give people the opportunity to ask questions so there wouldn't be as many misconceptions.
@Kelly Malone
ReplyDeleteI knew that men are raised in this culture of violence that makes them feel as if they have to be violent to be accepted and respected, but this statement made me think about it in a slightly different way: "Typically when someone defines masculinity they will always make some reference to being “tough” or “strong” both in which are related to violence."
I thought about it, and you're right, when someone is discussing masculine characteristics, they're always going to mention at least one thing that implies violence of some kind, even if it's violence to protect others. Women, on the other hand, are almost never described as actually violent, at least physically. Female violence is seen to be more of a mental kind of violence. For instance, you may say "she's catty," which implies a kind of mental bullying and setting apart, but there's nothing I can think of that is traditionally feminine that actually connotes physical violence.
@Emily My thoughts were confirmed about this issue in a lot of ways too. Sexual assault is largely about power and gaining power by making other people feel less powerful. I think that educating people about the possible reason is only the beginning of what needs to be done.
ReplyDelete@ Taylor I agree that raising awareness about sexual assault is very important. But I don't think raising awareness that it happens is enough. I think we need to educate people on exactly what sexual assault is. I think that a lot of people would be surprised to know that if any alcohol is involved then consent can't be given and that is considered assault. There are a lot of prevention methods, and I agree that awareness is probably the best method, but it is not the only thing that can be done.
ReplyDelete@Taylor
ReplyDeleteI also am involved with These Hands Don't Hurt also. We had a philanthropy event the other week all about it. Violence against women must be stopped and I believe by having organizations like These Hands Don't Hurt will help to stop the violence.
@S. Terrell
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with you when you said men feel pressure to live up to a certain amount of masculinity. I know that I always tend to fall for the guy who seems like a jerk and a tough person. I think that’s because we always see men as more superior in a way than us. I have learned that men want to prove they are more powerful and that is what leads to abusive and assault situations.
@Maggie McBride: I agree with you idea of the buddy system. That always seems to help, but regardless of the point I feel like once people have been heavily drinking, they aren't as interested in truly helping their friends; they're more interested in giving them what they want at the time. Education for Greeks thoughout campus needs to happen.
ReplyDelete