Read the Heterosexual Questionnaire and take the time to answer the questions for yourself. Now read the following prompt and critically reflect upon the following questions. *Please note that if you do not identify as straight, feel free to adjust this prompt in a way you see fit. Either examine and explain how you would feel as a part of the dominant privileged group, what you think would be different, or explain how things are for you now not fitting into the dominant category. If you identify as bi or fluid in some way, feel free to discuss this as not having a category and how in either situation bisexuality/fluid sexuality gets left out.
This morning when you awoke from a night’s sleep, you became aware that society was no longer as you remembered it. In fact, it had universally made a 180-degree turn in sexual orientation and the world you remember as being a comfortable environment for heterosexuals like yourself no longer accepts people like you. You don’t want to return to isolation, so you must deal with the situation, and do it right now. But now you don’t fit in. Homo-erotic love is the required standard. Heterosexuals are moral outcasts. They are widely thought to molest children, and the marriage of your partner that you have looked forward to for several years will not be legally recognized. Procreation takes place in test tubes and hired wombs according to accepted procedures, and couples like you and your partner are considered hazardous to population growth. You turn on the TV news, only to see a demonstration on the courthouse steps by anti-heterosexual activists shouting ‘heterosexuality is sin’ and ‘ban the straights.’ A sense of doom envelops you as the truth sinks in. You have a cup of coffee and sit down to think about how you will deal with the situation.” What do you think? How will your life change? What will happen to your relationship with your family and friends, now all gay? Will you allow others to know that you are straight and risk the consequences? What might they be? How do you decide to deal with the situation? Why?
In 2-3 paragraphs, write some key insights drawn from BOTH of these exercises, and how it felt to answer the questions. Use course readings to discuss ways to navigate through this oppressive situation and how you see the world changing if homophobia was abolished.
As I answered the questions of this questionnaire, I found it easy to answer some questions and rather awkward to answer others. I can honestly say I don’t know how I would react if our society made a 180 degree turn, and it was now dominant to be homosexual. Being the timid person I am, I think I would struggle with my decision to be heterosexual, whereas now I think nothing about it. I would finally realize the struggles that homosexual individuals go through on a daily basis. I personally think my life would drastically change. I am timid, but I do stand up for who I am.
ReplyDeleteMy relationship with my family and friends would probably change a little bit at first, but I think they would grow to accept who I am. If I lost friends, I would make new friends who are heterosexual with me. I think I would let people know that I am straight, and risk the consequences. Somewhere I would be accepted. I think each individual is their own person and it is nobody’s place to get involved in his or her life and tell them what is right or wrong. I think the consequences I would face would be similar to some of the consequences that homosexuals currently face such as, violence, job discrimination, and the inability to legally marry their partner (in some states).
To get through this oppression, I would surround myself with people of the same beliefs as me, and work together to get the word out there on who I am and what I stand for. It would be hard to convince someone that something is right when the majority of people think it is wrong, but if it was something that I believed in, then I would definitely fight for it. As we have seen in the readings, people who are oppressed have joined some type of support group and raised awareness on their issue. I firmly believe I wouldn’t change whom I was just to fit into society. If homophobia were abolished, I feel our society would be less judgmental and more accepting of each other. One of the questions I found interesting was about overpopulation, and how can the human race survive if society was entirely heterosexual. I don’t think it could honestly, unless people were more responsible having sex, but let’s face it, that’s not going to happen anytime soon. I think being heterosexual in a dominant homosexual society would be extremely challenging, but it could be done. We have homosexual individuals standing up for themselves in a dominant heterosexual society, showing it can be done.
The heterosexual questionnaire focused my attention on how some of those questions must seem to someone who is homosexual. As a straight female, being asked when I decided to be heterosexual would probably gain a few strange looks from me. I also would find it odd to be asked when I was going to tell my family I was straight, because it is something I take for granted that many families assume that their children are straight unless otherwise told. These questions gave me thought provoking insights as to how these questions may be perceived by someone who is not straight; and how difficult it must be to even attempt to answer them.
ReplyDeleteIf one day I woke up and realized that heterosexuality was no longer not only the norm but it also was not accepted in society, my reaction would probably be pretty devastating. Knowing that my sexuality was not only not accepted but highly frowned upon would make me feel very ashamed and fearful. I would probably need to take a minute to process everything. I think that I would take a while to tell my family and try to ease them into it with clues, just because I would be scared to tell them all at once in case they would not be understanding and would reject me. I think that I would be very careful with who I told and very cautious in my actions.
I think that both of these prompts give heterosexuals a lot to think about in regards to how society views people to do not identify as straight. I think it poses a lot of questions that straight people should consider. If a question in the questionnaire seems absurd to a straight person, it probably seems that way when asked of a homosexual. Having a life where your sexuality may destroy relationships and your life probably is much more difficult that a straight person can realize on their own. The readings gave insight that this type of oppression can have a truly harmful affect on feminism in general. It helps to see how the oppression affects people who do not identify as straight. As in the scenario where society does a 180 turn, it would seem crazy to me for people to be “heterophobic” because I would not understand how I was someone to fear. I think this explains why it is said to be an irrational fear to be homophobic, because it does not really make sense to fear someone because of their sexuality.
The heterosexual questionnare brought up a lot of good points that I never really thought about. A lot of people apply the heterosexual label on gays & lesbians when they are talking about their personal lives. It shows how biased a lot of people are about the lives of gays and lesbians. I found some of the questions are hard to answer and bring up some good points.
ReplyDeleteIf society did a 180-turn, I wouldn't know what to think I'd do if I was a heterosexual. It does bring up some very thought-provoking ideas on how gays & lesbians feel right now. They are feared becuase they prefer to love someone of the same sex. People who are homophobes call gays and lesbians awful names or attack them for no reason. That shows us how we treat others just because they're different and not part of the norm.
While attempting to answer the questions in the Heterosexual Questionnaire, I was reminded what some of my homosexual friends go through when having to come out to people. They get pelted with questions that are practically impossible to answer; their personal life is picked apart and examined for what people who don't understand homosexuality see as reasons that they are homosexual.
ReplyDeleteWaking up to no longer being in the minority, and inevitably having to deal with these questions from complete strangers, would be terrifying. If I were considered the deviant sexuality, my friends would accept me, but dealing with my family would be difficult. In no way would life be easy. I would have to justify my sexuality and life choices to everyone, including the government. Protests would occur across the country and the subject would be what I do in the bedroom and who I want to see at the end of the altar. Just thinking about all of this is scary.
The end of homophobia would pave the way for social reform that needs to occur in this country. Having best friends that are gay, I take this issue to heart. The hate that is spread across the globe (I feel like we often forget people are heterosexist in other countries, too)on a daily basis could come to an end, albeit with a lot of work.
@Carolyn Churchill
ReplyDeleteExcellent point abut the questions seeming absurd to us. If this is how the questions make heterosexuals feel, of course it's going to also make homosexuals feel that way. I think it's important to realize sexuality is just a component of a person's personality, not their entire personality.
After I read the Heterosexual Questionnaire last week, it really made me put myself in homosexual people’s shoes. I realized how silly these types of questions are and how hurtful they can be. Because I am straight I do not have to experience these types of awkward and embarrassing questions. It really made me think how ridiculous it is that society defines people by their sexuality so frequently. I do not define myself because I am straight so its not fair for people who are not straight for their sexuality to be so important to people who are.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to wake up one day and the world has made a 180-degree turn I would find it very difficult and confusing. I am not an outspoken person so I would probably be very quiet and shy about my sexuality and almost afraid to come out to society. I would still stand up for who I am but would definitely feel restricted and put down sometimes. My younger brother is gay and after reading the articles for class and the prompt for this assignment I really began to think about what it must be like for him. My family accepted him as soon as he came out and we have never treated him any differently. After reading more about other people who are homosexual I realize how lucky my brother has had it. However, I’m sure he experiences these types of questions outside of the family. After reading the prompt I will make sure never to ask him any of those questions.
I think people who are heterosexual and who do not approve of homosexuality really need to open their eyes and see the affects these beliefs have on people who are homosexual and how downgrading it is. The questions in the Heterosexual Questionnaire really are so ridiculous and I hope that one day heterosexual people will realize that. If homophobia was abolished I think the world would be a much better place. It would be a place where society did not define a person based on his or sexuality and focus on the important things in life such as a person’s character and personality. People would feel free to express themselves however they wish without having to worry about being verbally or physically attacked for doing so.
After reading the Heterosexual questionnaire, it really put things into perspective. I think that, and like what was mentioned in class before, most are privileged and don’t realize they are privileged to be heterosexual when heterosexuality is considered the norm. During a pervious blog where I had to talk about my sexuality I really couldn’t imagine being anything other than heterosexual. It would make my lifestyle very different. When answering the questions from the questionnaire, I had a difficult time answering some of the questions because most of them had assumed answers so it was rather difficult to find an explanation behind them.
ReplyDeleteIf I woke up and society had done a 180 and heterosexuality wasn’t the norm, I think I would have a hard time adjusting. Heterosexuality is something I’ve always known and I’m comfortable with. It always came natural to talk about guys with my parents or friends or even hope the cute guy in my class notices me. The questionnaire asked, “When and how did you decide to be heterosexual?” I really couldn’t answer this question because it seemed like such a given. I suppose when I started being interested in boys could be an answer but I didn’t think to myself and declare myself as a heterosexual.
Living in a life that would have homosexuality as the norm would not only affect myself personally but the relationship with my friends and family. If everyone around me were all of a sudden homosexual I think that some aspects of my life would change but some would also stay the same. I believe that my friends and family would still accept my sexuality and who I am but it would also put a strain on the relationship because it would be more difficult to relate. While my parents want me to have a same sex partner, I would be looking for an opposite sex partner. While my parents have one idea about my marriage, I may have another. If this were the case, even though my parents would still accept me I’d still feel torn to please them.
All in all, I cannot even fathom what it would be like if my life were evolved around homosexuality instead of heterosexuality. Although I do feel for those who have to deal with the oppressive behavior because homosexuality isn’t considered the norm.
As I read through the Heterosexual Questionnaire, I am able to realize how judgmental and harsh the questions that society often presents to homosexuals really are. The questions are nearly impossible to answer in a way that you can actually explain and understand. Heterosexuality IS the norm; therefore, I have never felt the need to tell my parents, “hey, I’m heterosexual and I like boys.” They have always assumed it, and everything has been perfectly fine. It would be very odd if someone asked me any of the questions from the Heterosexual Questionnaire, and I do not think that would have a way to answer almost all of them.
ReplyDeleteIf I suddenly woke up to find that I was now the minority according to sexuality, my entire mindset would be changed. I WOULD have to tell my parents that I was heterosexual. In doing that and being so different from the norm, I would feel like I was disappointing them even if they never said anything to let on to that. I think that I would feel the need to hide my sexuality to everyone unless I was 100% sure that they were heterosexual also. I would feel trapped in a world where I do not fit in, and I would always feel like I was on the outside looking in.
As I think more about it, I realize how sad it really is that I would be so scared to be myself even around people I love. I think that I would be in desperate need of something similar to the Combahee River Collective for sexuality so that I would have a support system to lean on and be honest with. Any sort of support group that I could be myself around would be helpful in my “coming out” to my friends and family. I honestly do not think that I would have the courage and strength to do it alone. It takes a special personality to gather enough confidence to just say “this is me, take it or leave it,” and I do not think that I have that personality.
If the world abolished homophobia, these fears that I am positive many homosexuals have in reality would be abolished as well. It is unfair that society is so cruel and judgmental, but it is what it is. Homophobia is prominent, especially in the south. Anything aside from the norm is considered wrong. With this mindset gone, everyone would feel free to be themselves and love themselves.
The questions were awkward in nature because I have no really thought about my heterosexuality and how it has developed throughout my life. It has always just seemed normal and how I raised. My parents did not have a household to where homosexual ideas were present. I cannot really remember when I first began to notice homosexuality and how it is part of normal life. Most kids grow up with heterosexual influence on their life and homosexuality is something that is faced toward the teenage years. The questionnaire really focused on why being straight is a negative thing, which it is not negative at all. I am happy I am straight because even though it is not that original I feel normal. I know that sounds terrible but it how I feel. It asked a lot of questions about how men deal with the many differences that men and women face when trying to please each other. I am quite aware of the differences that men and women face. I have been with the same girl for a year and a half and I still do not know how to please her. Same sex relationships may be easier but there is no positive in gay relationship that is not in heterosexual relationships.
ReplyDeleteIf I woke up and straight people were now looked down upon instead of the social norm, my life would take quite a 180. I would not live in hiding, I would proud of my sexuality and just try to live my life and phase out the oppression that I would face. I would have to change my normal routines and I am sure my friendships would not be the same as they were before I woke up. I would be forced to associate with people that share the same ideals, as that and me would lead to new friends and a new social standing in my life. I have never really been someone on the outside so it would be new ground and it would be a harder life than my life right now. There would be an organization that would be dedicated to help straight people excel in a gay world. I would join that group and fight for my sexuality as gay people fight for theirs today.
Answering the questions on the questionnaire was not easy. I found some to be less difficult than others, but overall it felt awkward to answer a lot of the questions. If I were to wake up and find out that society made a 180-degree turn, I feel as if I would be confused on how to act. I am already a fearful person so being a heterosexual person it would make me feel like I would actually have to think about my decision of my sexuality. I personally realize all the struggles a homosexual person has on a daily basis because my mother is a lesbian. However, actually being the one who has to deal with all the daily nervousness to not feel I can be who I want to be would make my life drastically change.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship I have with my family would probably not change because I was already raised in a house of diversity. I think my friends would definitely change though. I do not think they would accept me for being heterosexual because most of them think it is wrong to be different. I know I would come out and say I was a heterosexual and not hide from my true identity because my own mother feels like she has to hide from being who she is because she is, some of the time, scared to be a lesbian woman in our society. I know I would risk any type of consequence to be who I am, even if those consequences were what homosexuals face everyday now from violence to discrimination. I know I would embrace being heterosexual because I can only become stronger by doing that and maybe it would make other heterosexuals more comfortable to not hide their sexuality.
In order to get through this oppression, I would make an effort to surround myself with as many heterosexuals as possible in order to work together and stand for our sexuality. I know that it is not an easy fight to tell people that, in this circumstance, being heterosexual is not a bad thing and it truthfully does not make us any different than who they are. People who are oppressed, in the past and now, have joined together for support and have helped many others become aware of their issues. I know I would not change who I am because society has an unfair judgment about me. I believe with all my heart that if homophobia did not exist our society would be better in every possible way. I know my own mother would feel more comfortable and not feel afraid to really be a lesbian woman. She would feel free of all the judgment our society has about homosexuals. I am proud to say my mother is a lesbian even though I know my friends would think it was wrong that she is a lesbian. Homophobia is just one more thing this society should forget about because honestly it should not be a big deal what sexuality anyone is. I believe everyone should embrace who they are because we were all put on this planet to be ourselves, not what other people think we should be.
I can see where all of this would be really confusing; I wouldn’t know what to do or how I would feel if I wasn’t in the popular more socially accepted group. As a open minded individual I don’t mind gay couples I think they have every right we do. I think there is a lot to say about a really sensitive subject. I can see how our cultural is offended by homosexuality being so political and biblically driven. It isn’t fair to judge someone on who they are comfortable with and want to share intimate moments with.
ReplyDeleteThe question I find myself really focused on is the “why can’t you just be straight and keep it quiet?” I find myself seeing another point of view on how to myself I don’t really want to know what homosexual couples do in their own private time. I can see how that would be really offensive but then again im a private person so I don’t really go around talking about what I did with who. I tend to think that my family is very loving and would accept me no matter what my sexual orientation is, I also like to think I choose my friends wisely and I’m already a complex human so I think that my friends would accept me too.
I don’t think it’s right to take rights away from people who are citizens of this country, whose ancestors help built this nation, citizens who make up the US population, and pay taxes. I understand that people are very passionate about things but unless it affects me I don’t really care. I think it would be great to have two mothers or two fathers, I think it would be so wonderful for gay Americans to be married, I wish this nation wasn’t so condescending. This is supposed to be a nation of freedom yet some of the population is making it harder for other citizens to want to live here. I mean personally id rather move to a different country because it’s almost becoming a pain to keep up with everything here.
First of all, I am an avid believer in equality. Being a previous music major, I have "adopted" (I can't think of a better word than that at the moment) many homosexual friends. I think that what people are doing and saying to them is completely wrong. Even as a Christian. It breaks my heart for my friends because they are treated so differently. However, it's not nearly as bad in college as it is in lower grade levels. I never really dealt with it until I was in college, because more often than not, everyone was too afraid to admit it or deal with it in high school. Now they're like, "Big deal, I'm gay; get over it." And I comend them for that.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a difficult concept to take in, for sure. But to me, I don't see any point in being someone I'm not. I'd stand up for myself and wouldn't hesitate to an extreme extent to tell my friends and family. I can't hide who I am. I don't believe that being gay is a choice. I would be like one of my brave friends who fight for who they are. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be scary. It would be a major flip, and it would take some getting used to. But I would hope that I have friends that believe as I do and would not hold my beliefs against me.
If we can accept other religions in this country, then why can't we accept other life styles? Being a Christian myself, I know what the Bible says: That a man should not lie with another man. But doesn't it also say "You shall not have any idols before me?" We allow other religions that worship other gods, but we can't allow for people to live their own life styles? It isn't fair. I don't like to see my friends being condemned for something as slight as Homosexuality when we're murdering, thieving and whatever else.
I would like to apologize for this being so long, but I hope that what I have to say can help give everyone a view they may not understand otherwise.
ReplyDeletePart 1:
As a lesbian, the questions presented in Rochlin’s Heterosexual Questionnaire are questions that I am faced with regularly, but it’s not just an exercise. It’s my life. None of these questions have answers, really, at least not that an individual unequipped with a myriad of statistics could give on demand. The few that do are simply not anyone else’s business. For instance, number 11 is one that I get asked a lot. I’ve even had complete strangers walk up to me after seeing me with my girlfriend and ask how lesbians have sex. People have even tried to make the argument that if there is not penetration with a penis, sex cannot occur so I can never have sex as a lesbian. The only positive spin I can put on that is that at least they weren’t strangers. Also, the question about “flaunting” my sexuality floors me every time. Most people probably think of this in terms of gay men, but the question is asked of lesbians as well. For me, at least, the initial coming out process was more of a coming into myself as a person and bucking societal and familial constraints in other ways as well. Thus, my coming out occurred shortly after I cut my hair (the only reason I kept it long was because my dad expected me to), which occurred a year or two after I stopped wearing make-up. Before I came out, no one questioned these choices, but after I came out, a couple people asked me why I had to “look so lesbian.” However, I’ve also had people tell me that I “look/dress too feminine to be a lesbian.” In general, women are held to some pretty ridiculous standards (as are men, though I cannot personally speak to that), and being a lesbian just intensifies that pressure.
If the situation were reversed and I was a member of the dominant culture, I do not know that I would have challenged my upbringing in the ways that I have, ways that have enriched me and enabled me to be a better person. I was raised in a Southern Baptist household, and I went to private, Christian schools until high school. I knew that I was different, but I did not know what this difference was called. I knew that, according to my pastor, being gay was wrong and meant you would be in hell for eternity and that no one who claimed to be a Christian could ever accept a gay person without also trying to change them, but I didn’t know what being gay meant. I didn’t realize that these two things were connected until middle school. I tried to date guys because I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t want to have to deal with everything that comes with that. I didn’t want to have to tell my parents that their little girl was a lesbian, especially when I believed that they wholeheartedly agreed with our church’s stance on the matter. I didn’t want to fall in love with someone and want to be with them forever but not be able to marry them and have great difficulty having kids with them. I didn’t want to have to tell my friends and potentially lose many of them because of it. Most of all, I didn’t want to have to admit it to myself. I didn’t want to come to terms with my sexuality and deal with reconciling that with everything that I had been taught. In the process of reconciling them, though, I questioned things much more deeply than I would have otherwise. I began to question my religion and really look at whether or not it was working for me and upheld beliefs that I wanted to follow or be associated with. I questioned the value of friendships and realized that if someone could not accept me being gay, then our friendship really wasn’t all that strong to begin with. I questioned whether or not marriage was really necessary to make love last or to showcase your love. Fear of my family’s reactions kept me in the closet, though. I kept trying to date boys, wanting to believe the lie that if I just found the right one, then I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this and I could have the happily ever after depicted in fairy tales.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteSomething happened, though. I fell in love with someone who is absolutely perfect for me, someone who is an amazing human being, someone who is a woman. That was when I knew I had to make the choice, not to be gay, but to stop shoving it aside and trying to blend in. I had to do so for my own future and happiness, whether it was with her or not. The day I came out to my entire high school is the day we started dating. I was not ready to be fully out yet, though, because I was still very concerned about my family’s reactions. I was out at school, but no one in my family knew. I told my sister first, and she was accepting; I then told my uncle, who was also accepting. The easy part was over, though. These were the only two who I knew supported gay rights. Then, I took the plunge and came out to my mom. I came to college and decided that I was comfortable being out with everyone, even if it sometimes makes me feel targeted. I came out to my brother, who I previously thought was very homophobic, and then I, just recently, came out to my dad; his reaction was better than I had hoped, but he called it a choice that he disapproves of and hopes I will get out of my system. It’s the reactions like that, from people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, that can be the most painful. If a stranger tells me they think homosexuality is a sinful choice, it is painful, but I can deal with that. It is the rejection from those who are supposed to be closest to you that hurts the most, even when in the same breath they reassure you that they love you. I think something that we all need to be more aware of is that it’s incredibly difficult to believe someone loves and supports you when they demean your identity. I cannot blame my father and those like him, though; I must blame our society’s system, for it is the system that sets up heterosexuality as the norm and anything else as deviant and thus lesser.
Since coming out, I have a whole new family, the family of the LGBTQ community I am active in. We get each other’s issues, and we can band together to fight them. I also have recognized that speaking up is the only way things will change. I let the world silence me for nearly seventeen years, and if I do not break the silence and speak up, it will continue silencing others like me. Though it can be extraordinarily difficult and not everyone is in a position where they can do so, becoming an activist, in whatever way possible, is necessary to fight against any of the –isms. As the Combahee River Collective reminded us, though, the most radical politics come from within. In other words, you know your own issues best, so you have to combat those most directly, but don’t forget that there are other oppressed groups too and that all the –isms work together to silence and degrade those who are not members of the dominant society.
If homophobia was abolished, that would be a great step towards progress for many other movements as well. “Homophobia can wield its power over all women through lesbian baiting,” and sexism of all kinds harms both sexes, as well as those who do not fit into the gender binary (Pharr 539). “Homophobia directed at gay men… [is] rooted in a cultural devaluation of the feminine,” so this is not just a woman’s issue (Stryker 600). This is an issue that affects men, as well, and not just those who are gay, for homophobia is a weapon of sexism, which “also affects males through imposing rigid, dehumanizing gender roles on them” (Pharr 539). Abolishing homophobia will have to start with abolishing stereotypes, both of genders and of sexualities. Not every gay man likes to shop or has good fashion sense or effeminate qualities. Not every lesbian rides a motorcycle or can wield tools or wants to look like a man. Not every relationship, gay OR straight, has a clear-cut masculine role and a clear-cut feminine role. Eliminating homophobia will not just help queer people, but it will help all people.
When going down and answering the list of questions I was taken aback by a few of them. I am a heterosexual female and have always been attracted to the opposite sex. It’s not something I really think about, rather than a feeling that occurs naturally. Some of the questions forced me to wonder if me being a heterosexual is something that is in fact natural, or something that was conditioned into me. As a child I grew up with heterosexual parents and got used to seeing the affection between a man and a woman. Seeing from example a woman’s attraction for a man made it make since to me and feel right to have the same feelings. I feel no attraction towards women; however, I do not judge or have a fear of those who are attracted to the same sex. Attraction is a feeling that cannot be created, it is something that comes naturally, and you must act on whatever feels right to you. Unfortunately there are many that would disagree. We view homosexuality as something that needs to be “cured”. Some heterosexuals just cannot understand how a person could not be attracted to what they are. They view homosexuality as unacceptable deviation from the classic and “normal” life structure.
ReplyDeleteBeing straight I have been able to avoid the oppression that comes along with being gay in our society. I fall into the “norm” category. I always asked myself If I were homosexual would I act on my feelings and be with someone of the opposite sex or conform and pretend to be straight in order to fit in with society. I cannot imagine having to and force feelings of attraction towards another woman, or be told that I should feel something and that I’m a freak if I don’t. I had never acknowledged just how tough it would be to be a homosexual in our world until I flipped the script in my mind and pictured myself living in a world where my sexual orientation was one that was not accepted. If I ever do find myself in this situation I can say with full confidence that I would act upon my natural feelings of love and attraction and deal with the negative opinions of others the best that I could.
As I tried answering the questions, it was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Like many others have said, I have never thought about how having my sexuality questioned like that would be so awkward feeling. I have no idea when I became straight or why I am so public about being straight. Being in the norm has allowed me to be oblivious to those struggling on the outside against the norm. I would get so frustrated being asked those questions by people, and I know I am guilty of being one of those people with my lesbian friends. Like @Kelly Malone said, it is like we think we can "cure" homosexuals of their homosexuality. However, we would never imagine somebody wanting to cure us of heterosexuality because it is so "natural". Who are we to judge homosexuals for it not being natural too?
ReplyDeleteBecause of my beliefs, I do not agree with homosexuality, but I am no one to judge or avoid it either. I have lesbian friends whom I do not at all judge, but I will admit I have fell victim to asking some of those questions on the questionnaire. Some of them have switched from being straight to lesbian, though, so I guess that it why I felt it was okay to ask them those things. However, I shouldn't have because it demoralizes their sexuality, and it is definitely not fair to them.
I'm going to live my life regardless and walk tall. I know that there maybe consequences and I'm still trying to figure that out, but I WILL NOT hide who I am. I am who I am and I'm growing. I love myself and my God loves me. I pray that my family and friends will accept me, but if they don't then I don't know. I will learn and continue to live and love. People might ignore, turn their heads, and whisper anout me, but I'm "insulated and not isolated." I know that I'm not the only one even when it feels like I am. Prayerfully, we (me and other people like me) will come together and support each other beccause we need each other. There maybe outbursts of violence against us and we will take precautions, but we won't hide! We have the right to live, breathe, and love just like everyone else.
ReplyDeleteWow! This module has really struck a nerve and it hurts very much. As I read and answered both sets of questions on my note pad, I felt as though I was writing a letter to my family explaining to them who I am. Therre was/is a pain in my heart to just thinking about all that gay men and lesbians go throuth and endure. Even the terminology/the title hurt because they carry such a damning connotation. They are people just like heterosexuals, who derserve and HAVE THE RIGHT to breathe, live, and love successfully!
I am a heterosexual, but this morning as I sat down to breakfast with my family I thought "what if I told my family that I was gay?" What if that was our assignment for this week's learning module? Could we do it? "What would my family say and what would happen? I grew up in church and my dadd has always been my pastor. i know what the Bible says and I am STILL LEARNING. Just like homosexuality is a sin, fornication is a sin and many more. Whhat I'm saying is this: it doens't matter if someone is straight if they are sleeping (and doing a lot more) with every straight person that crosses their path. It's still a sin, but that person is STILL dearly loved by God. So the same people who condemn homosexuals are in no better circumstance if they're just living any kind of way they want to and still trying to be "holier-than-thou". (Btw, this goes for me too!!!)
I just want to apologize because people can be so cruel and that doesn't mean that you are not loved because you are...dearly.
After reeading the questionnaire, I never thouht about any of the questions before. I've always been attracted to males and males to me, so there was always a natural vibe of heterosexuality. I don't think there's anything wrong with someone being homosexual, but a few of those questions would probably offend a homosexual if thet were asked the same questions with regard to their sexual preference. Homosexuals seem to always have to justify why they choose to be homosexuals and I believe that is unfair. I dont have to justify why I'm straight, so why should a gay/lesbian have to?
ReplyDeleteIt really would not make any difference to me if the world suddenly became heterophobic. I would still be the same person that I am. Of course society would change, and it would have no affect on my sexual preference, but it would affect my daily life. Heterophobic, homophobic, or whatever, come on world let it go. Unnecessary problems is exactly what these catergories cause. A person will never know exactly how it feels to live life as a homosexual unless they are truly a homosexual and the same goes for heterosexauls. Heterosexuals are considered the norm and are not oppressed because of sexual preference in today's society. If the world was a little more open-minded about certain things some issues would not exist. Abolishing homophobia, how can you abolish something that's a person's personal opinion, but if it was to be abolished, I would THINK that society would be more accepting of homosexuals and would not pass such horrible judgments about one another.
From reading and answering the questionnare I realized a few things. First off, I noticed that I have ALWAYS been heterosexual; I couldn't imagine it any other way. I feel as if I was born this way and haven't had any desire to stray from the tendencies of hetersexism. I feel as if growing up in the type of home (having a mother and a father) and seeing the love between them, as well as my older sister and her boyfriends, shaped me how I am as well. Secondly, I feel as if some of the questions may come off as somewhat offensive to homosexuals. A few were kind of pushy, but I do agree with the fact that attraction is attraction (no matter from one gender to another).
ReplyDeleteIf the world were to take a 180 degree spin as far as sexual orientaion goes I would be lost and I know it. It isn't hard for me to simply admit this, but living it would be a much tougher feat. My family would accept me (although it would take time...and a lot of it) but my friends are a different story. Each of my friends have similar interests, and I would stick out like a sore thumb if I were a different sexual orientation or "norm". I feel as if I would have to let others know the way that I was. I couldn't carry the burden knowing I was playing something that I was not. It is never easy being the minority, but in my opinion, in our country being the minority of sexual orientation is one of the toughests situations one can go through.
@KellyMalone when you say attraction is a feeling that cannot be created; it comes natural. I think that this statement is the root of sexual orientation, but being a root, not many people can see it for it is hidden under thought.
ReplyDelete@Virginia88
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about the questionnaire and everything. I am a part of the majority in almost every aspect of life (besides being a female), so I really have no true understanding of oppression. It is hard for me to imagine myself being the minority, especially in sexuality. Thinking about it is almost a scary feeling because it is so unlike the life I am used to.
@KellyMalone
ReplyDeleteAs I thought about the heterosexual questionnaire and the "what if...," I realized that I probably would not tell my parents and friends. I know that they would be understanding, but I still think that I would be ashamed to tell them. Not that being homosexual is shameful, but I feel like I would not have the courage to face all of the negative reactions and consequences.
The more I think about it, the more sorry I am to all of the people in this world who face sexual oppression. I know there are plenty of people that are terrified to be themselves and tell the world, and I cannot imagine having to fake attraction and feelings. It is so sad.
@AmyLea..."If we can accept other religions in this country, then why can't we accept other life styles?" This is a great thought. Our country is the home of the free and do "accept" other religions and thoughts of mind. But with this "acceptance" comes a lot of past, which causes so much of our country to hesitate when the word homosexual is mentioned
ReplyDelete@ WilliamV
ReplyDeleteI also believe that the environment someone is raised, like with a mother and father, plays a part in a person being heterosexual and why many view this as being normal for a man and woman to be in a relationship.
@Carolyn Churchill
ReplyDeleteI liked your point about how the questions seem out of the ordinary to us, heterosexuals. Feeling how awkward these questions really are I would be almost threatened if I was asked them all the time, like a lot of homosexuals. I think sexuality is just apart of someone, it does not define who they are. I believe everyone should be accepting and not judge what sexuality someone is.
@WilliamV:
ReplyDeleteWith your comment "I couldn't carry the burden knowing I was playing something that I was not," you completely captured how I, and I think many other gays and lesbians, have felt at least one point in our lives. Most, though certainly not all, have pretended to be straight until a certain point - if not actively pretending, we allow the assumptions to remain and do not correct those who assume we are straight. However, this, for me, felt like I was being torn apart. It got so bad that I stopped being able to believe my family's proclamations of love because I was sure that they only said that because they had no idea who I actually was. They loved the me I let them see, and I was too scared to let them see the real me. Coming out, difficult though it was, brought me such a sense of relief, even when people didn't react exactly the way I'd hoped. Luckily, I haven't had any reactions as horrendous of those of others, and I often wonder if it brings the same relief for them, or if they feel that they would have been happier or better off leading separate lives than they are now that they are out.
@Sarah Tate:
ReplyDeleteI think that you captured it best when you said, "In [coming out to my parents] and being so different from the norm, I would feel like I was disappointing them even if they never said anything to let on to that." That is exactly how it feels because even though your parents may not have said anything against your sexuality, you are aware (even if it is not quite a conscious awareness) that they live in a world with the same systems that you do. Sadly, that's a world that says that not all sexualities are valid or acceptable. The systems affect everyone. Those who are aware of the systems at least have the ability to recognize this influence. You have to know that something exists, that something is affecting the way you think and live, before you can ever hope to overcome that influence.
@S. Terrell
ReplyDeleteYour first statement made a great point. As natural as it feels to say we are heterosexual and like the opposite sex, it must feel the same way for homosexuals. It must feel really strange to a homosexual girl, for example, to ask her why do you love a girl. When someone finds love its supposed something to celebrate, not something to justify.
@Kaylyn Johnson
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe some of the examples of things stranger's have said to you. It's amazing that some believe if someone is different than them, it gives them permission to ask questions that they would otherwise find inappropriate to ask someone else.
@ WilliamV
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way as knowing no different for my sexual orientation. For me I have also seen a mother and father as the head of my household, and other family members who are heterosexual. I have never been given another option, and can't say that I want a different one. I agree with you that being oppressed by sexual orientations in this nation is probably one of the toughest forms of oppression.
@Amy Lea
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to your post. I have gained many homosexual guy friends since I've been in college. I also, commend them for not only being open with their friends and family but with society in general. They are just trying to live their lives like any heterosexual would. It is a shame that they have to live with the oppression of being considered not the norm.
@kaylyn Johnson
ReplyDeleteI find it really astonishing that society feels they have to make it known to homosexuals that there are so many things that they can't do and ensure their differences from the rest of society. I would find very offensive if someone told me I couldn't have sexual relations like everyone else or have children like everyone and so forth. When in fact, any homosexual can do just that.
@ Kaylyn Johnson
ReplyDeleteI think that your statement "You have to know that something exists, that something is affecting the way you think and live, before you can ever hope to overcome that influence" is such a great truth. How else can you stand up and fight something that you can't see or recognize. I think that this is a problem in fast-paced society. Some people are too busy with themselves and their work to notice the things (small and great) that are influencing and affecting them. This is how someone can go from great to just settleing for mediocre.
When taking the questionnaire I felt it some what awkward to answer some of the questions.
ReplyDeleteI do not know what I would do if the world turned a majority homosexual. Me being a straight female it would be hard for me to get used to being out of the norm. Me being the shy person I am I think it would be very hard for me to be seen as different and to be discriminated. I believe that my life would change drastically.
If my friends and family turned all gay I think of course they would look down upon me just a little but I do believe that just like parents of homosexuals, they would learn to deal with it and learn to love me for who I am. I would come out to the people who mattered to me I would have no business flaunting my heterosexuality. I would also surround myself with people who are going through the same thing as me and get positive energy around me to deal with the changes.